Saturday, August 29, 2015

About Me: Day 4

Wow, has it really only been four days? It feels like I've already spent a century alone wallowing in sadness. I'm pathetic :) .
I'm actually finding it very strange how people rally together to help me when they know I'm sad; and as comforting as that sounds, it's freaking me out. I feel like a horrible friend every time I ignore all of the "let's hang out" messages, but I'm just not interested right now. There's a reason behind my absence though.. I really am not in the mood to talk about Nathan (my boyfriend) moving away. It's actually the last thing I want to talk about; and while everyone thinks that they're helping me when they text me saying "It's going to be ok! Trust the relationship!", it's killing me.
Alright enough depressing shit for one post. Can I say the word 'shit' on here? Is that a thing? I find myself questioning my age a lot this week. I'm technically old enough to move out, get permanent things tattooed on my skin, I can even join the field of pornography. I'm old enough to do so many things but at the same time I feel so young and unprepared; I literally still want my mom to schedule my dentist appointments. I don't know how to even begin the search for a real job, is that even a thing if you don't go to college? I know some people make it, but the idea of walking into some big company at age 18 with no experience and just 'starting life' is not a thing. So where can I go from here? Enroll in some bullshit courses that teach me nothing and stress me out for the next four or more years?
I need a plan. I need a goal. In order to start working toward any goal in life I'm going to need to get motivated. I don't even know where to start. I guess the first thing I should ask myself is "what do I want to do with my life?" This is only my second real blog post, so none of you invisible people really know much about me yet; but hey I'm Brianna and I love selling clothes. When I turned 11 years old my mom helped me start my first online website, it was called Adorable Access. I made charms and jewelry, and pretty much only profited about $5. I was so damn proud. I was so excited to tell people in my middle school to go check it out, and I'll never forget the day this kid named Dion laughed in my face and told me it sounded like I was running a porn site called "Adorable Asses".... I was heart broken & later changed the name to TotallyBriFul, (an awful name for a website,but so is DankPizza soo,,,). Anyways the passion for business stuck with me for a long time and through the years I've started many random mini companies, my favorite was Kitten Cult. We bought shirts through American Apparel & hired some guy to screen print the words "I killed your vibe" across the chest. We sold out immediately. Literally 130 girls in our area were walking around repping our brand, it was amazing.

I'm sort of droning on, let me get back to complaining about not knowing what career I want. I think it would be amazing to become an entrepreneur, but that sounds sketchy. A lot of people want it, and a lot of people fail. Another idea I've tossed around is becoming a buyer. A buyer is someone who basically predicts future trends and picks out the clothes that will be sold in a store. Sounds like a really great gig, eternal shopping sprees with other people's money.

If there's anybody out there reading this, I'm sorry for the ranting.


Tuesday, August 25, 2015

About Me: Day 1

I'm not sure why I thought it would be a good idea to pick up blogging, my acrylic nails are always too long to properly type on a keyboard and I have the motivation of a rock; but here I am typing into the void of a page with 0 views.
My name is Brianna, my boyfriend of 10 months just moved off to college and everyone just keeps telling me to "keep busy". Maybe I considered writing a form of keeping occupied..
Truth of the matter is, I'm terrified. I'm sad, scared and extremely overly paranoid. (Horrible quality traits in a girlfriend!). As much as I want to be supportive and happy for him for getting into a very nice private university, IT'S SO HARD TO BE CALM ABOUT IT. I've never ever believed in the long distance thing, and I'm not even sure if this counts as long distance. He literally only moved 1 hour & 45 minutes away, I know I sound crazy, but when you spend every day&night with someone, it's a massive difference in distance.
Since it's only day 1 I should focus on shutting the fuck up and trying to be happy for him. So let me change the subject for now..
I'm 18 years old, November 29th, 1996 . I feel so young & so old at the same time, I guess paying bills does that to a teenager. I work with kids in the morning and afternoon, and I'm not enrolled in school. I claim to be spending this time on making money to save up for school, but I don't even think  I can convince myself that it's true anymore. I'm lazy & scared of trying. I've always sucked in school, and really didn't want to enroll in school just to fail out and spend my own money doing so. Damn I wish college was free. Seriously, dorm lifestyle seems so cool. Maybe it's just the tween in me, lusting too hard after the 'Zoe 101' lifestyle, but I am SOO jealous of people who get the chance to experience that, (like my boyfriend).
I don't really know what else to bore on about at the moment, so I'll sign off for now

shout out to blogger for giving me the chance to talk to myself in a socially accepted way


Sunday, February 22, 2015

Raiding Juliette's Closet

Borrowing clothes from Juliette isn't a rare occasion for me. This outfit consist of:
  • Her wide brimmed hat from Styles for Less
  • Her thrifted oversize sweater
  • Her maroon knee highs
  • My chelsea boots from Marshalls